To be the best version of yourself that you can be. There is one vital aspect of life that you have to keep in mind, and you have to do. Religiously.
You can't be good, much less great, at anything if you aren't present. So that means you need to show up, daily.
Now I get it. You don't feel like showing up everyday. Some days you want to crawl into a hole and die. Other days you might just feel "meh", so then that can be a toss up. Then there are the days where you feel like a superhero. You can do anything. Everything you touch comes out just right, or even better. Whatever you put your mind to you accomplish, and you feel great about it.
I absolutely love those days. I really do feel superhuman. Nothing can stop me.
But, then the rest of the week I slough off and all the work that I am neglecting is getting piled. I see the dishes in the sink accumulating. The laundry is overflowing. The dusk all over the house is being formed into little villages. I mean it just isn't a good situation.
Those other days are when I am not showing up, and that is fine. As long as I am realizing what is happening I have the power to change it. That is the first step my friends. You, I, We need to first realize that we need to change in order to get the power back.
Now getting the power back doesn't mean that you are in control. Control is an illusion. So do not get caught in that trap.
You might be asking what I am all getting at with this "showing up" stuff.
Well firstly you cant be great if you aren't present.
Secondly, you can't be effective if you aren't present.
Lastly, you can't (shouldn't) be called dad if you aren't showing up.
Ya that's what I am getting at. I am calling out all of you "fathers" out there playing like your dads.
Now obviously this concept can be put to anyone, in anything in your life. But I want to put all you fathers on notice.
If you are absentee, if you would rather choose drinking and friends over your kids, if you are physically there but constantly on your phone.
You should never be called a dad. In my eyes you shouldn't even be considered as a father. You are just a sperm donor to me.
Good news though. You can change all that. The thing is that you NEED to want to change your ways.
Because let me tell you. Your kids need you. The world needs you to be present for your kids.
It's never too late either. Even if you try to make amends and make things better, and you are met with walls. That's fine, it's normal, and it should be expected. Work through it.
Take the time to tear down those walls. Because you can do it. You should do it, you need to do it. Not only for your sake, but more importantly for the sake of your kid(s).
Little by little, everyday. SHOW UP. Even if it is for an event first, or an hour of playing. Maybe it's cooking a meal for your kid(s). SHOW UP.
Even if you have been gone so long that it takes years to get back in. Do the work!!!! Your kid(s) need you no matter how old they are. Whether they are 1 year old or 40 years old. They are still your kids, and no one can ever take that away from you. Blood is blood. And you need to take care of yours.
You need to be present for yours. You need to SHOW UP for yours.