When you look outside yourself for validation. You are giving permission to any and everyone to award you social standing, confidence, to be a “cool” kid, be part of the “in” crowd.
When the validation you are seeking doesn’t happen, you then become depressed and sadden by the lack of positive attention.
That’s when people turn to drugs, alcohol, meaningless sex, or anything else they can get their hands on to either numb the pain or have them focus on something else. Even if it is for a moment.
What I want you to do is change that in your life.
I want you to look yourself in the mirror every day and say one nice thing about yourself to yourself.
It doesn’t need to be profound, but it needs to be heartfelt and honest.
Your confidence as a person, your self-esteem, and self-worth should be coming from only one person. Can you guess who that person might be?
You guessed right. It’s YOU!
You are the only one that you need to validate what you are doing is cool, what your wearing is meant for you, what job you have or don’t have is ok.
No one else’s opinion matters.
If for some reason you find yourself in a loving and amazing relationship. This advice still applies.
Yes, you can love that other person with all your heart, and they can love you just as passionately. The fact remains that you are the only one that can validate who you are.
There is no disrespect here. Quite the opposite. It’s respect for yourself.
If that other person comes along and is in line with what you think and feel. Then that is just a bonus in life. Like finding $20 in your pants pocket or scoring something free that you really like. BONUS!
When life comes down to it. We all want someone to like and love us. We are humans, that’s part of our nature and biology.
None of that admiration (and I mean none) means a shit if you don’t first love yourself, and care enough about yourself to be confident in an uncomfortable situation.
Now don’t get things twisted here. I am not saying that you should be cocky, or that your pride should overshadow how you treat people.
No one wants to be around a jerk. No one wants to be around someone that won’t take time out of their day for them.
That’s the balance we need to have in our lives to have a healthy life.
You want and need to love yourself first, because if you don’t or you cannot be able to fully love someone else. You may think that you can, but you will be half assing it. Which is bad for your emotional health and theirs.
Look. You don’t need someone else to tell you your cool. You don’t need someone else to say that what you’re doing is awesome. You don’t need someone else to tell you that you are beautiful, handsome, hot, bangable.
You need to love yourself first. Flaws and all. Because that’s what makes you, you. And we don’t want anyone else but you.