No, I'm not talking about your sex life. Even bad sex is good sex 😉
Unless you're not getting any.... That's a different story 😢
I am talking about your efforts to overcome any bad habits.
How do I know you are doing it wrong? well because I used to be doing it wrong as well. Until I figured out how to do it right.
Fixing or trying to get rid of old bad habits isn't as easy as just saying you want to do away with them. You can't just will yourself past them and onto something else.
You need a strategy.
I know that can sound scary or even like it will be too much work. But really it's not. Saying that you need a strategy is just a five-dollar word for saying you need to change the old habit for a new habit you will enjoy.
That is basically your first step right there. It's a duel step where you need to know you are fed up with this habit you currently have, and at the same time know what habit you want to create in its place.
A little background here. A habit is a series of actions you have created to run subconsciously when you are triggered to do so. And the trigger could be anything, so you will need to figure out what that is as well.
For example: Say you were just dumped by your significant other. (unless they were an asshole l would assume you are not happy about it). The first things that you do are to fill that pain in your heart with comfort food like ice cream, or pizza, or something fatty, and greasy, and not good for you.
Obviously this is counter to what you want in your life. As eating and gorging yourself on all that crap food is counter to you wanting to look good, feel good, and live a healthy and happy lifestyle.
So what then? what the hell do I do if this is my default setting?
Again, first things first. Figure out that you have a problem, and know what solution you want.
In the case of our example. Know what you want to change your response to when you get hurt. And there are like a million things to change to. You just need to know what will work best for you and what you want in your life.
Disclaimer: In any ending of a relationship. do not. I repeat. DO NOT! run into someone else's arms. That will never ever help you. EVER!
Let's say you want to change that habit into something like traveling to your top 5 places in the world.
After you figure out what you want to change to. The next step is to (in your head) replay the events of your breakup, and your thoughts of gorging yourself with all that food. Get that imagery as vivid as possible. I know going through that event again will hurt your heart. That's the point. When you tie emotion to action it becomes that much stronger.
Do you have an episode playing in your mind? Great! Now I want you to distort the hell out of it. I want you to make that event in your mind so unrecognizable. I want you to change how vivid the image looks to something dull and washed out. I want you to change the colors. I want you to change the smells. I want you to change your surroundings. Does the image seem close to you? Then in your mind push that image away from you so you can barely see it.
You might be thinking how the hell you do all of that? Your brain is the most sophisticated tool in the world. It can do anything as long as you allow it.
So play around with that image until you can't remember or visualize what the hell is was anymore.
Now I want you to think about that break up again, but this time think about the top 5 places you would want to travel. While you're doing that think of the smells you would want in the room. What colors are there? are you inside or outside? While you are doing all of this and creating this new imagery be sure to smile. I know it might sound or feel forced but it will help you positively retain this image.
Do you have it? Great!
Last thing to do.