So often in our lives we just want.
"I want this"
"I want that"
I pretty much scold my daughter everyday to "use your manners." She uses " I want" waaaay too much. I am trying to teach her to use please and thank you, while still going after what she wants.
But that is how we are conditioned from baby on up. The only way we get what we want is to show that we first want it. So once we are able to use our words. This first things we learn, and understand is " I want." Then someone else gives it to us.
I mean how else are you going to be able to get anything as a kid, right?
When you get older, and dare I say mature. You need to transition your "I wants" into doing first.
That comes even more apparent when you start to get into relationship, and also when you are in a relationship for a while, and things start to become a bit more stagnant. We get settled in our ways and some days just want someone to do something for us.
To really know when you should "do first" is when you are starting to recognize that you are not getting what you want from the other person.
Through no fault of anyone. Sometimes life just gets in the way, you get too busy and forget things sometimes. Your mind is somewhere else, and you just don't realize what you are doing, or not doing.
But, when you start to realize that you are not getting what you want. You begin to project that onto the other person. Meaning that you are more than likely not giving what you are wanting.
For example lets take holding the hand of a significant other. You may love holding hands, but again through the events in life, your attention is taken somewhere else. You don't hold hands a lot anymore, you start to think about this and want this more. But you want your significant other to want this as well, and them to start to do it first. To show that they love you.
Let me tell you that this will never happen. You are not a jedi. You cannot play mind tricks on people. You can't make them do something they have no idea about.
If you want it. You will have to give it first.
Another way to communicate this idea is the Law of abundance.
The law of abundance is mostly described through the accumulation of money and wealth, but the properties are transferable. Simply states that there is more than enough in this world, no matter what it is. Instead of having a scarcity mindset, have an abundant mindset.
You want holding hands in your life. Instead of waiting for someone else to do it, you take control and do it yourself.
You want your partner to hold your hand. You show them that that's what you want, and it will come back to you.
You want your job to pay you more. Than put in the work.
You want your significant other to show you that they love you as much as you love them. Well then show them the way. Show them that this is how you want them to act towards you....Now I didn't say show them and then yell at them. Or scold them as to what you want. You need to show them freely and without getting anything in return. You want them to see that this is a good thing, it makes them feel good and it makes you feel good.
Trust me it will come back to you eventually. Some people (some guys) take longer than others to learn this and reciprocate.
No more "I want". We are done with that now.
That phase of our life is over.
Now we do.
You want it, do it.